Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash
Having been with my fiancée for the last 5 years. It hasn’t been a smooth ride.
If anything, we were sailing on a proverbial rocky sea with potholes left and right.
Sure we have our good days – but sometimes the bad days cast a black eye over our relationship.
Here’s what I learned from my relationship so far. And my hope is that it will be helpful for your romantic relationships as well.
1. Mission #1, Women #2
Remember that time when you were chasing a girl so vehemently that she was the main thing on your mind?
You thought – the more I show her how interested and invested I am, the better.
Well, I hate to bust your balls but women find that unattractive, VERY unattractive.
As much as a woman wants to be desired, she doesn’t want a man whose sole purpose in life to be her. Not only does it place a high burden on her, it also shows how needy you are. And needy people are super unsexy.
What she wants instead is a man who is pursuing something else, a calling, a mission, a career.
A man who knows what he wants.
This logic explains well why a starving musician can be more successful with women than the typical office drone.
The former is pursuing something whereas the latter is mindlessly meandering about life.
Making your mission your priority makes her attracted to you because she doesn’t see herself your life, but as a part of your life – that you chose to her to part of your life’s journey.
2. When she is raging for no reason, let her have it. It’s about her, not you.
This has baffled men for millenia.
One moment she’s fine and the next she’s mad for no reason – plus, you didn’t do anything wrong.
The good news is – you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s about her, not you.
David Deida, author of The Way of The Superior Man described it best.
He said, the feminine mood moves like the weather. It’s fluid and unpredictable. It can be a clear and sunny, and a thunderstorm the next.
The next time your woman rages, let her have it and remain Stoic to whatever hurtful words she throws at you.
And when the thunderstorm mellows and slowly retreats to a drizzle, that’s when you go in and provide her comfort.
David added – 90% of the feminine’s troubles comes from lack of love. And your role as the man is to be a provider of that love day-in-day-out.
Only though that, on a long enough time scale, will her moods be ever better – because you gave her love everday.
Just applying these two in you life will solve 80% of problems you will face in an intimate relationship. Period.